Monday, June 25, 2012

Embracing where you are...


 This is the stuff that drives me crazy, 
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately. 
In the middle of my little mess, 
I forget how big I'm blessed. 
This is the stuff that gets under my skin, 
But I've got to trust you know exactly what you're doing. 
Might not be what I would choose, 
but this is the stuff you use. 

  As I sat working on lesson plans this afternoon I started listening to my three little boys' heavy breathing and started watching them sleep...and I realized...even though I feel exhausted half the time and sometimes my babies get crazy...I love them more than anything. I have one that still isn't he pulled himself up with the cabinet door and slowly made his way to where I was sitting - only to collapse against me, chubby arms wrapped around my neck, head back, mouth wide open for a kiss - I don't know how anyone could resist smiling at that! My baby boys make me happy. When they hurt, I hurt and want to fix it. When they're happy, I'm happy. 

 I've had big plans in life - pharmacy tech, singing, accounting - but I've always wanted a family, so I always come back to childcare. I guess that seeing these smiling faces every morning, and caring for them all day helps me realize that my dreams aren't gone - they're simply on hold. I've been through stuff that I never imagined I would have to go through - stuff that I would never want anyone I love to have to endure. Time heals all pain - it doesn't feel like it at times; and maybe sometimes it just dulls the pain, but it does get better. I still have big plans - I still want to go back to college and get a degree in child psychology and finish up my Bachelor's in Early Childhood Education, I still want to have a family one day - but I realize that for now, I am where I need to be. Sometimes you have to truly learn from your mistakes so that you'll be ready when your next door opens. 

 I was recently asked this question - "What is the most important lesson you can learn in life?" My answer was contentment - learning that no matter what you're given, no matter what gets taken away, no matter what goes can be content in your circumstances. This doesn't mean you'll always be happy or that you'll always like your circumstances - it means that you know you will survive and that if the circumstances aren't happy ones - they are only for a season. 

 Contentment is not an easy lesson. It is very easy to complain, stress, or whine. Learning contentment can make life so much easier and can help you make it through some tough times. 

What do you think? What is THE most important lesson you can learn in life?