●Painful Knots●

I've prayed a lot of prayers, but this prayer has quickly become my favorite so I thought I would break it down and explain why.

Dear God, please untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart, and my life.

Remove the have nots, the can nots, and the do nots that I have in my mind. -
This is an area that I struggle with daily. It's easy to look at your life and pinpoint everything that you wish you had, that you don't have. It's so easy for us to complain about these things. We point out the reasons that we don't have them, and how bad we wish we did. There are many days where I get upset over the things that I can't do. The things that maybe I used to be able to that now I can't. Or the things that I wish I had time to do but don't.

Erase the will nots, may nots, and might nots that may find a home in my heart. -
I have a huge fear of things that will not, may not, or might not happen. I think that because of some things I've been through I find it hard to believe that things will really come about like they are supposed to. I constantly worry about the may nots and might nots instead of focusing on the positives in my life.

Release me from the could nots, would nots, and should nots that obstruct my life. -
I think we all struggle with the things that we could not accomplish or do. This "not" causes me pain and hurt constantly. There are so many things that I look back and wish would have happened or should have happened. Things that I feel have become could/would/should nots in my life.

And most of all dear God, I ask that you remove from my mind, my heart, and my life all of the "am nots" that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough. -
And this is where the tears flow. I know that this is the main "not" that I struggle with daily. The "am not". Although I was raised in a Christian family and was constantly told that the devil will try and get you to believe that you are nothing and that you have no purpose, I still struggle with remembering that. I struggle with the thought that maybe I am the problem, that maybe I am the cause of everything that has gone wrong in my life, that I will never be good enough to accomplish the things I want to accomplish with my life. It's hard to remember that we each have a purpose and a destiny in life. When things get hard it's easy to forget this, it's easy to cry, it's easy to feel pain. I keep meaning to put this part of the prayer in random places where I will see it throughout the day. It's a reminder that I need right now.

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."